Tuesday, February 28

back - against the wall

For the last many days, I've been preaching about how open and honest I am and how people can know what they want about me. Freedom of speech and being open and not judgemental is what I stand for, and yet I go ahead and create a diary which is locked for the public?
The public may not be interested in reading about my teenage miseries, but if they happen to want to - they should be able to. Hell, I've written every word in this diary, if someone attacks me with it, I can defend myself. It's how I am.

What has happened lately?
One night I was talking to Leah by mobile. I told her the feelings I didn't even know I felt for her. It's odd, not like when I wanna kiss on boys. The feelings are there when I think of them. Otherwise they're not. Me being bisexual, it is like, so odd. I saw Leah today actually. It was just a glimpse. Yet, I panicked. I actually made a gasping sound, turned around, grabbing Christian and pulling him with me into the shop, where I tried to calm down. I don't know why. It felt weird. Maybe I just like the thought of being in crush with a girl.. Or maybe it's inpreventable, since it's Leah we're talking about. She's great. I don't know her any more.

Other than all of this, things are a bit blurry. I'm tired and stressed. I'll try to be more accurate by posting more often. I think I really need it.