Friday, July 22

Four days away from home. I had time to think it through, the thing about Christian and I. I've been through all the pros and cons, I even called Rikke for advice. I got to know Rikke through my year at the boarding school and I grew very fond of her helpful advices. She's the one I go to with my large dilemmas. She shouldn't be bothered with my small ones. Her advice is worth gold. Anyways, I called her up and explained everything to her. It seemed so easy. She said I should wait. Not a year, but just a few months, till I got settled at the school and till we both knew for sure what we wanted. That changed my mind (or confirmed it!) and I think I made a decision. I'll wait. I won't give up on him, but I won't lead him into something I can't control.
Help... I made an innocent boy fall for me!
He wrote me that he was falling for me. I was caught with panic! All of a sudden, my mind was confused. I felt like pushing him away, showing him my worst site, just convince him that he DIDN'T want me. I bitchslapped myself! If I pull a stunt like I did with Peter again, I'll go freekin' insane. I'm so confused that I'm not sure what I feel for Christian!
I'll see him tonight with Andreas. They'll come over, cause my mum is not home. We'll order pizza, listen to music, just hang out. Andreas will go home early, cause he has work tomorrow. I have work tomorrow as well. I'll talk to Christian then. Don't know how... Maybe I'll change my mind and fall right on my FACE the second I see him.
Phie thinks I should go for it... Heidi thinks I should go for it... I think I should try to make up my own mind for once, instead of asking others. I guess it's easier to blame them for mistakes I may make. Or thank them for good choices I may make. Get a grip, Sofie!

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