Monday, May 30

Last night I went to Christian's place with Andreas. It went better than most of the other times I've been with him, cause this time we actually said something to each other. I managed to stutter some somewhat humourous things (he laughed) in between my laughter attacks.

Christian is very funny! I remember saying to them that they reminded of an old married couple, whereas Andreas got very offended. Christian immediately faked a cry, saying, "You're always so mean and cold to me! DONT LOOK AT ME!!" etc...

Anyways, there was still the awkward silence. I don't remember the last time I was all stuttering and nervous when I was with someone... I don't even think I was like that with Lasse! I was with Mehmet. Damn... Christian was just being himself, and I sat there at that stupid and lousy chair! It hurt my ass.

Andreas was dead annoying. Not only did he mention my past with Martinez, but he had to mention my former obsession with Westlife. He also said, just out of no where, "Oh, Peter. He's very sad."... ARGH! Idiot!! He's the one telling me how to act around Christian, and I'm doing my best. He's ruining every little tiny weeny chance I have! I hate him right now.

I did realise something, though. Until I can't act like myself in front of him, I can might as well forget all about.. any kind of ANYTHING with him. Do I have a chance? Maybe I should just throw myself at him.

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