Thursday, April 7

If I could, I would, quote the wisest man in the world.

This is where I wish this diary was private. This is when I have to write something that I know my very own big brother will read. And two of my best girlfriends, Amalie and Leah as well. I'm a tiny bit afraid of their judgements on this, cause to be frank, I'm not even sure what I think of me right now.

I went shopping yesterday with Andreas. He held out for three long hours in H&M. He's a star! Afterwards we went to Peter's place and ate dinner. When we were done eating, we tried to find a place we could watch a movie, but neither Christian or Johan could. Instead, I started playing footsie with Peter underneath the table. Just, in a more loving way. We went to Peter's room to watch Bad Boys II. I petted his stomach and he petted my arm.. Very innocent. Again, I felt like touching him badly. I don't know why. When 10'oclock passed, Andreas went home, and I was alone with Peter. This is where you shouldn't read more; only if you want.

I don't want to go into details. I gave him two handjobs and a couple of blowjobs. He came in my mouth. We also kissed. He's not a very good kisser, but hey, that can be taught. He says I'm better than Lea*. Hah. So does this make me cheap? He kept saying no. I'd told him that it had nothing to do with feelings and this time he WAS clear on that, completely. And I did think it was fun. I liked it, I did. Another experience, another story to tell the grandkids... Or not.
I asked him if he still had feelings for me; and he said yes. But that this was just as good as being with me. He followed me home and we agreed that this shouldn't ruin anything between us.
And he said I was right in my theory, that blowjobs and handjobs weren't sex!

Okay now, before you never ever want to talk to me again, let me just say: I don't have any regrets.

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