Friday, February 18

I asked my mum about my free essay I have to write. I don't know how, but we got into a fight - as she interupted me before I could finish any sentence, and we were clearly talking past each other. She ended the whole discussion by saying; "I don't want to spend an HOUR standing here talking about you!"
Like; auch. Whatever. I don't know what her problem is right now. She's begun to smoke again, and I absolutely hate it. Not only is she killing herself- which gives her no right to act patriotic - but she is also lying to us, and she's being damn weak, especially by hiding it. I bet that if we "caught her" she'd just pretend like she hasn't been hiding it. Even more weak. Her being so weak, makes me hate myself for being offended when she doesn't acts like a real mother should. It annoys me so much.

She makes me feel like the biggest looser in the entire world. That is really how I feel right now. What the fuck?! Is she getting confidence by mocking her own daughter or what!? It's fucking sick! She has to critisise me all the time, tease me, hint to me, and really dig the hole deeper, deeper and deeper till I couldn't feel worse. When I'm by myself I slowly fill the hole, but when she comes again... arghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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